Sunday, January 17, 2010

Counting Our Blessings

Aaron and I are feeling a little blue today as we've had a rough couple of days.

Before Christmas we found out that I was expecting our second child, due in August on my birthday. It took a few days to sink in as we weren't expecting it to happen so quickly, especially as Annabelle would have turned one just after the new baby was born.

Although most people normally wait until the end of the first trimester before telling anyone about a pregnancy Aaron was so excited he told his Dad and brothers (without me knowing). Suddenly I started receiving emails from his extended family congratulating me - so he then confessed he had let 'just a few people' know the news.

Seeing as my parents live in the same suburb as Aaron's father I decided I'd have to tell them our news in case they heard it from someone else, which wouldn't have gone down very well!

Things had been progressing well, the morning sickness was bearable - and mostly in the evening when it didn't matter so much, and my obstetrician had shown me the foetal heartbeat via ultrasound when I was 6 weeks pregnant. Our next step was the 12 weeks scan and the end of the first trimester - just 3 short weeks away.

I woke up early Friday morning, around 3am, with a strange feeling in my tummy - not pain or cramps just an odd feeling - so I went to the medical centre later that morning.

My usual Doctor wasn't there that day but the receptionist wanted me to see someone straight away so she booked me in to see someone else - Doctor Obiwanor. As a Star wars fan I was amused by his name and wondered if anyone ever called him Obi Wan Kenobi, that is until I saw him and realised he was more Darth Vader than Obi Wan Kenobi!

Doctor Obi Wan was really good and spent a lot of time getting background information before sending me off for an urgent ultrasound, which is when I got the bad news that the baby had not survived beyond the six week mark. Blood tests were ordered and I was meant to be returning to the Doctors on Saturday to get the report from the ultrasound, the blood test results and to find out what the next step would be.

Early that evening I went to watch some friends at roller Derby training, which was great fun and I'm looking forward to watching them in competition. As we were leaving I realised there was a problem... no need for details but my friend Kelly (still in her training gear, minus the skates of course) drove me to the emergency department of our local hospital.

When I realised the nurse and the Doctor looking after me were both men I thought I was having more bad luck but they were both brilliant, particularly the nurse, and they really did their best to treat me as quickly as they could while remaining sympathetic to the situation I was in.

By 1am I was back home with Aaron and Annabelle, which is when it really sunk in that we'd lost the baby.

Yesterday morning I had a follow up appointment at the hospital and another ultrasound, which showed there is no need for any follow up procedures - thank goodness!

Initially I was a bit upset at Aaron for telling people about the baby prior to the end of the first trimester - because now we have to tell everyone we've lost it - but he says that even if no one knew about the baby he would have told them after I'd been to hospital anyway. Fair point I guess....

For the time being we're focussing on the good things we have in our life, especially Annabelle, and we'll probably reassess things in a few months.

Annabelle loves her musical play gym

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